Anyone who has ever flown in the exit row knows the drill. Just before takeoff, the flight attendant stands in the aisle, asks everyone to take their ear buds out, and make eye contact as the attendant asks, “Are you aware that you’re sitting in an exit row and are you willing and able to assist in an emergency, including opening the exit door and assisting other passengers?”
Then the attendant waits for and insists on a verbal, “Yes.” Without the yes, you’re not flying in the exit row.
A few months ago, I had an executive bring up the exit row speech as a good analogy for a leadership team that was experiencing a lack of alignment. His diagnosis was that there was misalignment because the team members were allowed to let it slide on giving the verbal, “Yes,” as in, “Yes, I am signed up for this plan and am flying in formation with the rest of the team.”
If you’re the executive leader looking for alignment on a difficult decision or challenging initiative, going around the table and asking each team member to state where they are on it can be a powerful way to check for and achieve alignment.
In a healthy team, there are three basic responses to that request:
- Yes, I’m in.
- Not yet, because I need to know more about…
- No, I’m not in and here’s why…
You might feel like this is a pretty confrontational move to make as a team leader, but, when asked in a spirit of inquiry, it creates more openness, not less. Without the step of asking each team member to say where they stand and then having a robust discussion on what it’s going to take to get alignment, you’re headed for the dreaded…
Meeting After the Meeting.
After working with and coaching executives for over 30 years, I’m convinced that the meeting after the meeting is the number one sign that a team isn’t really aligned. Rather than working it out in the room together, the team members split up into factions to lobby, influence, and cajole for their case. Quite often, all that meeting after the meeting effort leaves everyone exhausted and nothing much happens as the can gets kicked down the road.
Can it be tough and uncomfortable to work it out together in the main room and get to the point where even those who disagree are willing to commit to the decision because they know their point of view has been heard and considered? Absolutely.
Is it better than walking out with fake agreement and allowing the conversation to continue offline until it leads to suboptimal outcomes? Again, absolutely.
What big decision is coming up where you need to look your team members in the eyes and ask for a verbal yes and, if it’s not a yes, learn why it’s not?
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